What the @$%*#?

I have just completed my federal income taxes for 2005. I was using Turbo Tax, and up in the corner there's a little counter that shows you how much of a refund you're going to get, at least that's what it showed me in previous years. This year, as I was progressing through the maze of questions, I kept noticing that the place that usually tells me about my refund kept insisting that I owed money!! When all's said and done, I owe the Bush Administration over $1,000!!

Now I know, friends of mine a lot smarter than me about these things tell me that you WANT to owe money - that way you haven't been giving the government a no-interest loan all year. But still - I thought that we were all supposed to be paying less in taxes!! You mean to say that in addition to having my phones wiretapped, my internet porn habits watched and my social security plundered I get to pay MORE for the privilege?

It's true, Mrs. Blue Language and I are both gainfully employed, and in my case, perhaps beyond my capabilities. We do quite well, thank you very much. So aren't we the type of people that are supposed to be reaping the rewards of the Ownership Society?

I decided that I will not give these fools any more of my money than is absolutely legally required. So, I'm planning on back-dating enough major contributions to off-set the amount I owe. These are the charities I'm considering:

- National Gay and Lesbian Task Force
- Planned Parenthood
- The American Civil Liberties Union
- The Stem Cell Network
- Greenpeace

Just to name a few. Please help me out with your own clever suggestions...